Coping or Coupling? Mechanism
by newbword
Summary: What if Naruto has an erectile dysfunction and Kiba torments him for it. Then mutt-boy somehow gets extremely horny. Put these two together, and you know what happens. Be warned for explicit sexual content of slash porn and a huge douse of ridiculous idiocy in between. Each chap has its own warnings.
1. Chapter 1

What if Naruto has an erectile dysfunction and Kiba torments him for it. Then mutt-boy somehow gets extremely horny. Put these two together, and you know what happens.

* * *

"We're clear." Kiba stated after smelling no chakra presence from their pursuers. Two silhouettes came to a stop after hours of running, catching up their breath and regulating their chakra reserve. The Inuzuka scanned their surroundings while the other found a sturdy trunk for his back to lean on.

"Damn. That was so close." Naruto wiped his mouth after chugging half of his water bottle.

"Yep. So close." Kiba reaffirmed after smelling his own blood. One of their pursuers managed to nick him, a small gash on his bicep after a close examination. His blond friend noticed the bleeding and shrugged disinterestedly.

"Hey! It could hit my vital point!" Kiba feigned a hurt expression when he clutched his heart and fell to the ground. Naruto dismissed it with a fit of cough and a snort. Not wanting to stop teasing Naruto, Kiba pressed on with his previous idea. "Still, if you were willing to use your Sexy no Jutsu and offer service to them, it can save us from all these troubles."

"What the hell, mutt-breath? That will be super awkward, you idiot!" came a reply quick as lightning followed by a couple of kicks to the shins. Strangely, Kiba felt a tremor of searing warmth stir from the physical contact, blossoming to all directions. He quickly dismissed it as muscle heat after vigorous exercise and mustered an expression as innocent as he could.

"Awkward how?" His fake cluelessness totally failed when a smirk crept up, his face struggling not to laugh right in that moment. Naruto was rendered speechless and deeply frustrated, opening his mouth twice before gritting his teeth.

"Asshole. You already know about it."

That's right. Of all people whom Naruto wished to not know about his unfortunate accident, Kiba was one of them, and now he must face the unfortunate consequences. Instead of helping him to find the said aphrodisiac for making the cure, Kiba made the best of each moment to have fun at the cost of his own dignity. He couldn't forget one night in the red light district when Kiba suggested a game of bets by putting his dick on stake, which sounded quite brilliant. They could earn big bucks fast and easy if he consented, but no, he didn't want them to know his problem. Kami knew how shameful or, later he found out, pitiful it was. Yep, he could imagine all the surprise and pity from the locals, the geishas and their customers. He might be seen as a freak in that kind of environment. And here was Kiba, looking up at him with brows shot up, a gesture which can be said as "is that all you can say?"

"I'd rather do this mission alone." Naruto huffed and glared accusingly at Kiba, who was still sprawling on the ground, but with that goofy grin quirking up. "You're here just for the sake of making fun of me."

As if on cue, a loud laughter broke out. Kiba didn't deny it. Poking Naruto's new weakness was an awesome level kind of fun. The first time was that they mistook Naruto for being gay, which he didn't foresee but seeing Naruto's frustration for being misunderstood so quickly became the highlight of the night. On the next night visit to another brothel, Kiba spilled the truth much to Naruto's embarrassment, and poor guy, his blond friend had to suffer the pitying looks and comforting words from the geishas flocking around him. So, that was how Kiba began to keep pushing on Naruto's new button. The latest idea was to use his Sexy no Jutsu to get the aphrodisiac after they discovered the dealers' whereabouts. Too bad Naruto refused, because he wanted to see the men's reaction. It would be epic. But the most epic idea is the betting game of course.

"Hey. I'm not that evil. I don't force anything out of you, but too bad you refused the _Betting Jobs: Get It Hard?_ " Kiba had to stop himself to keep his laughter in check, since Naruto gave a pointed look which screamed THAT AGAIN! "Just imagine, man, how many ryo we could get. I'm sure none of the professionals there could stimulate that stubborn…pfftt…I mean none of them could beat your problem, man. Yeah, I bet none of those 'jobs' could do it."

Naruto's mouth twitched at the hidden meaning that lay under what had just been said. He didn't miss the quoted word and sure enough, those images flitted into his mind uninvited. Thanks to one week in the red light district due to his personal mission, he had sufficient knowledge about hand jobs or blowjobs. Well enough for his traitorous brain to accurately visualize them in his head, and his groin at the center of received attention nonetheless. Some local geisha or even men tried to arouse it, as that was how the bet would go, but he knew it would be futile. Having witnessed a week of sexual activities (unintentionally because most were Kiba's pranks) and yet not reacting like how a human body normally should was the solid proof.

Self-consciousness could not help but settle in. Unconsciously looking at his own groin, Naruto imagined how it filled out. But then, he felt nothing except exasperation brewing inside, and steadily increasing so because of one stupid howl of laughter from the idiot.

"Man… look at your pfft-" Kiba struggled to utter his words between coughs and laughs, his face was flushed and panting. "…Your-your face was frowning man… like this" Kiba somehow managed to demonstrate it without difficulty: nose scrunched, eyes narrowed, and brows all furrowed.

Naruto wanted to retort. _As if I'm making that kind of weird face_. But Kiba just continued.

"yeah like that…" another pant "and you're frowning at your own di-pfft…you know" he shamelessly pointed where "…but even your own scowl has no effect on Naruto Jr."

The look Naruto was wearing was utterly priceless; Kiba had to control his breath so he wouldn't choke himself to death from laughing too hard. Short of any best comeback, Naruto just countered with a short reply of "Asshole" then "You're a mutt-hole", giving him a slight satisfaction that he sort of won somewhat. Until Naruto kicked him playfully again, which he expected from the blond when he lost in verbal exchange, Kiba felt something different.

Suddenly, a hot wave flared somewhere from his thigh and spread tingling pleasure nearby, which was not good at all. It went straight to his groin, one of the nearby. And apparently his voice cord was affected too when a choked moan came out. Kiba coughed quite a number of times afterwards while a small part of his brain tried to catch on what had happened. He still felt overwhelmed with aches in his sides and replays of Naruto's recent silliness, making it hard to recall what that sudden heat sensation exactly was. Naruto remarked about something he barely missed, but his sharp hearing could register what the words were.

"That's what you get for laughing too hard."

"Can't help it." Kiba refocused back at Naruto, who was now setting out to leave. "How can I pass up the golden opportunity? Naruto's having an erectile dysfunction is one a lifetime experience, unless-"

"Stop it, Kiba. Am in no need of your crazy bullshit ideas right now."

"Hey! Tell you what–" Kiba stopped halfway when he found Naruto was ignoring him and was almost out of sight. He quickly scurried after the flashy black-orange jumpsuit and said, more like shouted, what had not been said on his mind anyway.

So, the banter rekindled again.

* * *

The story is my attempt of porn with bits of _simpler_ plot, but the porn part(s) are still stored in mind and not typed yet. Hopefully I could make it to 10 chapters and complete this short fic


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: for explicit graphic content of unconscious rutting and language

* * *

Naruto felt warm. Ridiculously warm, and it bugged him. Still sleepy but uncomfortable, he twisted and turned; but he felt something heavy on top of him, restraining his movement. Alertness took over. Eyes snapped open. First thing that crossed his mind was they were ambushed in the middle of the night! But what he found was…way different than any assumptions or life-threatening scenarios running rampant in his mind.

First, his senses picked up a breathy sound, akin to a low growl. Then he felt an unbearable heat on his right side, which was kinda heavy when he tried to shrug it off. Heck it seemed to latch on him like an octopus, grounding itself in place. In the next seconds, his eyes, already adjusted to the darkness, revealed everything. Naruto couldn't believe of what he was seeing. Kiba was half-hugging him or half-cuddling him. He could make out an arm-like shape draped over his midsection and felt a heavy weight on his clad thigh, which must be the leg, he quickly assumed.

Since when was Kiba a cuddler? And the heat he exuded without mercy, was it even normal human temperature?

Naruto could feel it on his lower body; and his lower limbs felt really uncomfortable, what with the weight and searing warmth atop of them. So, he shifted them a bit, just to relieve them from the discomfort…and shit.

Was it what he thought it was? His eyes instantly grew wide. His nerves all high-strung.

Naruto shifted again. And he felt that same thing again. Something hot and swollen.

Hot. And. Swollen.

And d-did he just hear a whimper? That whimper broke out again, much louder this time, making it impossible to miss that unspoken urgency and need. And then he felt it again. Hot and swollen. This time it shifted against his pant. Rubbing against his- "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Naruto spoke out loud.

 _Kiba is rutting his boner against me!_ This exclamation, however, didn't make it past his lips. Which pretty much explained why Naruto looked so awestruck. His mind was currently buzzing with the newfound realization. Even he himself could hear his frantic thoughts screaming at him.

 _That was Kiba's dick down there!_

 _Shit! He must be having a wet dream!_

 _Ack! Those whimpers remind me some unpleasant memories._

While his brain was having a hectic breakdown, some of his senses got overly sensitive. Naruto didn't know whether he's imagining or not, but he could feel that cock twitched against his thigh, despite of the fabric layers between them. That warmth now seeped into his pant, and oddly, the hot touch seemed to blossom and cover a little more area as if-

 _Nonononono!_ Naruto choked on his breath. He couldn't believe this was happening; he shut his eyes and tried shift his thigh away. Which he regretted less than a second later when Kiba growled and managed to lock him in place, and that hot erection pressed even deeper into his poor thigh. To his dismay, Naruto couldn't wriggle free and yelped when he saw how Kiba encased it with two strong legs. There's no way he's going to leave his thigh to its sorry fate. Kami, who knew how traumatized he would be, or his muscle memory most likely. To always remember each touch of struggle, getting bigger and bigger and hotter and hotter and-

Like hell he's going to let it happen!

Naruto thrashed with all he got, flailing his arms around and twisting his whole body. The horny mutt retaliated by squeezing his thigh and rutting in an increased pace. Shoot. Big mistake. The desperate blond internally groaned and simultaneously stayed still. He yelled a curse or two to vent out his frustration and an idea hit him. This time he shouted, even screamed, to wake the horny mutt. Naruto searched for a reaction on Kiba's face but… but seeing how Kiba's face was so lost in pleasure, ignorant of anything outside his dream, Naruto got a bit distracted. Okay, not a bit, maybe pretty much distracted because the moonlight just happened to strike on his face. And wow, it was quite a sight!

Seeing Kiba so open and vulnerable, not a hint of cockiness or tough guy cover-ups but fully pliant under the onslaught of pleasure – sweat glistening, lips parted, deep flush up to the tip of his ear, eyes squeezed shut in pure concentration, every facial muscle so tense and pent-up. As if they were preparing for some big climax to come. Big and hot, Naruto concluded. Like a volcano, on the brink of erupt- _shitshitshitshit_. Naruto started to panic and berated himself for getting distracted for a moment, because now Naruto could feel Kiba's fully erect! And so damn close too!

Like a freakin' volcano, his brain still stubbornly referred, but god forbid, if Kiba's cum seeped into his pant and spoiled it. Naruto had to escape before it happened. But it happened too soon or what his panicked brain perceived when Kiba let out a startlingly loud and obscene moan. Without thinking, Naruto barked out a loud and big " **NO!** " while his hand reached the poking clothed erection and squeezed it.

What a huge mistake!

A second later, he heard a long keening sound and felt that cock throbbed intensely under his grasp. He could even felt those rippling pulses spouting (not sure how many) jets of hot liquid before he realized his hand was already sticky and wet and warm. Naruto's brain buzzed with overload and then went comatose, as proven from his open slack jaw and eyes bulging out in horror.

Kiba woke up feeling awesome, fully sated and energized from his good sleep. Yeah, he must have a good sleep. When he smelled a faint scent of his own seed, now already dried, he grinned and tagged his sleep as _must be awesome_. Kiba turned to greet Naruto but found him leaning against a tree, hugging his knee with his head bent down.

"Oi, you're still sleeping?" Kiba nudged Naruto with his toe as far as he could manage, by scooting closer from where he sat up.

Naruto looked up, and Kiba immediately reacted, "Oh shit! You look like hell!"


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: mature content of language and reference to sexual arousal

* * *

No one knew how many minutes had passed, or hours had gone, as Naruto and Kiba continued their journey home in silence. Who knew, they might break a new record for staying quiet for so long. An impossible feat for two loud-mouths, but that's what was actually happening now, just because of one unique conversation they had earlier.

It started with spite which then led to a handful bunch of misunderstanding. Naruto initiated the spite first, by outright accusing Kiba for his lack of sleep. Kiba triggered the explosion, by ridiculously asking Naruto "are you making this up to spite me?"

Thus began their shouting contest in which one tried to show the proof while the other rejected most of it.

"Like hell I fucking whimper in my sleep!" (Kiba)

"OI! That's what I heard, so accept it in your mutt-brain and let me finish first dammit!" (Naruto)

And in which one wanted the solid proof while the other reacted not much better.

"Don't fucking joke with me, Kiba!" (Naruto)

"Dude, it's your fault you wash your hand." (Kiba)

And in which after Naruto finally proved it –

"H-Hey do you have to press your nose like that?" (Naruto)

"Have to, semen evaporates easily you know" (Kiba)

– from Kiba's scent of sweat on the black-orange jumpsuit, Kiba countered Naruto's mockeries on the same page.

"Ha! Told you! And don't forget you moaned like a horny bitch in heat!" (Naruto)

"Says the weakling who can't break free from said bitch. Heck, the bitch is even unconscious when holding you tight!" (Kiba)

This spiteful exchange still continued until it took a serious turn, until rape – a sensitive topic – was brought up. And damn they had to stop a moment to contemplate whether last night's incident could be considered as rape or not. It was not like Kiba wanted to be called a rapist, though he rutted against Naruto's consent. No, but the main issue was that it was an unconscious rutting.

Can an unconscious rutting against one's consent be considered as rape?

This moral and ethical question still intrigued both of them. They even talked about it and the question started to be more elaborate and bizarre like…

Can a genjutsu-level (must be SSS-ranked, Naruto insisted) rutting against one's consent, who happened to be a fellow ninja whose power was cut by half (the reason why Naruto couldn't break free) because he accidentally gulped down an arousal suppressant (a prank made for Pervy Sage who's already fucking dead, but the Fifth still kept **them** and worse, forgot about **them**!) be considered as rape?

No conclusion was reached because they abruptly stopped when they both realized how awkward their verbal exchange had become. From spite to misunderstanding to utterly weird rape discussion? What a complete hundred eighty degree turn of events! Not to mention there was one more factor to make it more awkward!

And so whatever argument or discussion or whatever they had, it discontinued when Naruto's erectile dysfunction was put into the picture and it was never broached again. Kiba sighed in relief quietly when they stopped because his traitorous dick suddenly took interest in "…groping your erect cock while it shot out your loads…" He didn't catch Naruto's next sarcasm"Ha! Muscle trauma is a better word for it." But he did felt sympathetic toward Naruto, for being unable to experience it like a normal person should. When Kiba caught Naruto one time palming his clothed groin, he chose not to laugh.

And now here they were, on the road and no word was exchanged. The Inuzuka sighed silently, hands in the pant pocket and mind in the clouds, thinking of different ways to break the silence. It was starting to unnerve him, and he glanced at Naruto occasionally to know if he also felt the same. When he smelled a group of people trying to sneak up an ambush attack, he immediately seized the opportunity!

Turned out the distraction backfired for both ninjas. Naruto struggled to stay focused, because how could he not, when he heard Kiba moan somewhat similar like last night. He couldn't believe his imagination was getting the better of him, toying with his senses and Kami, the rushing adrenaline didn't help either. Naruto had to repeat the mantra in his head to keep himself from thinking the kunai he was holding in his hand was the throbbing dick he brought to orgasm last night.

Dammit, his hand muscle twitched again from both adrenaline and memory.

He had almost thrown the kunai away out of impulse!

Mustering every willpower and determination as he could, Naruto yelled a battle cry to drown out his senses and just deal with the fight quickly. Kiba seemed to have a hard time when he heard moans of plea- PAIN! (you sick brain), and it drove him more on edge and focused.

Kiba had no idea of what was going on with his own body. How could a simple kick to his abs, not that strong but enough to send him flying over a few meters, ignite sparks of pleasure besides pain? As the battle dragged on, the confused ninja realized too late that every pain he received aroused him further and started to panic over the arousal growing inside his pant. He began to suspect if his dick had a mind of its own, getting excited at a wrong time and at a wrong place and by a wrong cause.

His brain was the worst victim to the onslaught, muddled with tingles of pleasure in various places of his body, making it hard to concentrate.

And things just kept going worse, OUTRAGEOUSLY worse!

Now he couldn't land a strike or incapacitate his foes, all efforts went to controlling his breath and ignoring the rampant testosterone. And dodging every attack as long as possible.

Shit. How could he end up like this?

And all of the sudden, a fist connected to his jaw. The blow impact exploded into electric current of pleasure which caused a full shudder from head to toe and ran straight to his groin.

Surging it into a full hard-on in less than a second, record time!

The hit was painful like a bitch, but here he was sprawling on his stomach, gasping like a horny bitch. To be dazed from both pain and pleasure, damn, Kiba didn't know a word to name such euphoria. But when he sensed those bandits approached him, panic of the same caliber invaded him, putting that overwhelming bliss on hold.

To get a boner in the middle of a fight is already something huge, but to jizz right then and there while they're still fighting?

Like fucking hell he would let it happen in his entire life!


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: slight exhibitionist and masochist and explicit sexual content of jerking off.

* * *

Kiba was not a man of plans. Strategy was not his style. Unfortunately, the dire situation he's facing right now really, really desperately called for a flawless plan. His first instinct told him to get away as far as possible and deal with his "hard" problem, but if he just made one wrong move (just one), then BOOM!

There goes his dignity and pride. May They Rest In Peace. For their poor owner Kiba had to bear the shame for the rest of his life.

So, Kiba knew he couldn't be reckless. He couldn't afford to be hit, or he would end up cumming inside his pa- he'd rather not pictured it in his mind. But his stubborn brain already simulated a glimpse of it.

 _Just another direct hit, or may be a side kick, enough for him to cum inside his pant. Hopefully he was sprawled on his stomach, so no one could see the wet patch forming on the front of his pant. But not all scenarios worked exactly like what your mind imagined right?_

 _How about, just in case, he got hit and then he was sprawled on his back?_

 _From front view, those bandits could see everything, the whole orgasm, from the start to the finish. From the prominent bulge tenting his pant to the wet patch which slowly formed there. Nothing was amiss. Bet they could even imagine how his dick was shooting his cum, twitching and pulsating inside, from a slight but visible jerk of his tented pant outside. And it didn't stop. Maybe there were a few more subtle shifts seen in the bulge, and the wet patch kept spreading and spreading, getting darker and darker. Until it was so obvious that everyone could tell what it was. That Kiba was riding high on his orgasm until he emptied himself to the la-stopstopstopstop_

" **STOP!** "

On instinct, Naruto peered around to know where his teammate was. In the distance, he saw Kiba lying on the ground, and he knew that the Inuzuka was in trouble, surrounded by few bandits. The brunette himself didn't look so good, flushed and sweaty and was Kiba seriously injured? Naruto immediately took action because he had never seen such desperateness and hoped that terrifying agony in his face didn't really mean that he was dying.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. Without thinking twice, he formed a giant rasengan, knowing it was a very risky action because of that damn suppressant. Naruto couldn't get into Sage Mode because of it, because really, it was a prank fully designed for the Pervy Sage, but unfortunately Naruto was his student, so he received all those after-effects like winning a prize with all its bonuses.

So damn unlucky.

And truly unlucky he really was when the giant ball of chakra got out of control. The form was not yet perfect, but this rasengan was his only chance. Either way, it would blow up anything in the end, so Naruto chose to release it now before it blew him away instead. Before Naruto had even finished yelling his technique, the giant blue sphere turned into awkward spiraling vortex that kept spinning like a giant fan's blades.

 _Oh-oh_. Regret and dread sank hard as Naruto witnessed how not only the bandits got flown away, but also Kiba obviously got blown too.

In one second, Kiba couldn't believe his brain had just conspired with his dick, by entertaining Kiba Jr. instead of figuring out plans how to get away from this entire stupid situation. In the next second, "WHAT THE-" he suddenly got blown away by-

"OH SHIT! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?"

Of course it was Naruto's doing, whatever or whichever it was. Dammit, the last thing he needed in this damn crisis was to be blown away, along with other bandits too! Really, Akamaru was the best ninja partner ever. It was just too bad that his dog had to finish the whole medical crap or so, as insisted by his sister and Sakura. And now, he had to prepare for the inevitable when he crashed to the ground and pain registered to his senses, triggering his own volatile bomb.

How stupid, for not considering Naruto into the equation, when he's the most unpredictable and always carried out an aura of "anything could happen, you never know". That's why Kiba hated strategy and plans and those shit.

 _This is it._ Thought Kiba in resignation when he felt gravity was pulling him.

It didn't take long for his butt and back make contact with the ground. The landing was not as rough as he thought. Though it was still painful, Kiba was grateful he didn't land on his front because yeah, for sure Kiba Jr. would explode right away and he didn't want to imagine that. But the impact was enough to create a delicious friction for his raging boner, urging it to leak pre-come profusely.

Kiba was tempted to quickly finish this stupid mess there and now, which he happily obliged because this time he was finally alone, or so he thought. He shuddered slightly and hissed when he painstakingly slid out his rock-hard cock. Damn, he had never been this hard before. Tentatively, he stroked the shaft and watched in fascination as more pre-come leaked out and wetted his fingers. There were a few experiments of tugging and squeezing, and oh, there he could feel that bliss again.

And so he did it again, stroking it from the base and then up, up, up to the base of his swollen cockhead and then finishing with a slight pull. Oh fuck, it felt so fucking good. His legs trembled from the burning sensation, and he even felt his fingers tingling. He did it again and again.

Increasing the pace. Giving each tug more power. And squeezing harder.

Feeling all the pains, and then trails of pleasure after their wake. And the white-hot surge inside him was gradually building up and building up. Kiba could feel it, so intense and hot. Damn. He started to think that he wouldn't mind if he fell on his stomach and crashed his boner to the ground when the painful impact left tsunami of hot and electrifying pleasure afterwards. Oh fuck, that thought alone caused an involuntary body jerk as his hip thrust into his both hands, and he felt it so close, on the very brink.

Getting him there.

Bringing him closer and closer.

And yes, yes, YES, YESYESYES-

" **WHAT THE FUCK!?** "

Kiba's eyes snapped open. And gasped, but no sound was out. Because before him, he was greeted with faces frozen with shock and disbelief. Every jaw incredibly wide open. And every eye popped out impossibly. Each one was fully transfixed only on one thing. Kiba was no better as he immediately froze in alarm and tense anticipation. His hands still on his leaking dick. Pants and boxers already slid down below his knee. All of his movements stopped except his erratic heartbeat and frantic brain.

And Kiba Jr. apparently, as it twitched, begging for attention and desperately asking for release. Kiba also didn't miss how their eyes widened even more, still transfixed on down there.

The only coherent string of thoughts in his mind was _fuckfuckfuckfuck_.


End file.
